Christian Chain E-mailing and Christian Spam

Please understand this post is predominately tongue-n-cheek but there is a hint of truth in some of these comments. So laugh first and ponder second.

Is it just me or are Christian chain emailing totally demeaning to God and His sovereignty? "Pass this email on to 10 people or God will not bless you and your family" ...delete...Delete...DELETE! I cannot get these things into the electronic trash bin fast enough. They usually have glittery purple angels resting their heads in the hands while drifting along on puffy white clouds. What is even funnier are the these cherubim mailings with badly animated mechanically articulating wings that are spastic in their movement. Do we really suppose that God had problems reaching people before badly animated chain emails? Does anyone suppose I, single handed, could postpone the End times or fail the Great Commission because I have not sent Thomas Kindkadian Angels to my friends? I'm a guy for goodness sakes! Even though my friends are Christian they would probably still beat me up or smack me for sending them an email with pictures like this in them:


As a guy, what am I suppose to do with that other than send something like this to my wife or mom? I'm figuring even my wife would beat me up for sending a picture like that and it was okay to send to mom...when I was 6 years old! Even if I sent it to my wife and mom I would still need at least three other people to send it to that wouldn't show up at my house to heckle me. What's worse is they are insidious. They usually always come from our friends with the best intentions. They are usually to spread "Peace on Earth" but usually only end up spreading a virus. Some are very convincing and they target human foibles and flaws. The human brain is easily influenced, once the message is read you will start to unconsciously act upon the prediction or threat in the mail. It is a process similar to hypnosis. All it takes is those few little words, "Do this...or else God is gonna zing or zap you"

Getting edifying Scripture is nice...getting it in an email that takes Scripture totally out of context and misinterprets it is not. What is sad is I know the email has been through dozens of inboxes before it ever reached mine. In the process it has been harvesting email addresses in the body of the email and everyone that forwarded it has probably had a hand in propagating bad doctrine/poor interpretation and illegal address harvesting long before it ever reached my inbox. If people are not sure that the Scripture in an email is being used correctly, it should not be sent on because it amounts to nothing more than a false teaching or misappropriation of God's word. What is particularly mind boggling are the Scripture or Inspirational mailings that have what amount to threats of bodily harm at the end for not passing them on. "Pass this email on to 10 people or God will zap you with a lightning bolt"

Say wha???

Hear that banging sound? That would be the sound my head banging against the wall.


The other computer age anomaly is bulk mailing or Christian spam. Recently I was the recipient of an invitation to join a Christian singles website and this mailing came from a person connected with Facebook. Anyone within half a solar system of my profile can see that I am married. A "Christian" organization essentially promoting adultery by not paying closer attention to peoples profiles...lovely. Something is soooooooo wrong with this and I do not even need to read to Bible to realize that it is wrong.

Then we have a solicitation for aid for a recovery project for an Inuit tribe in the Arctic tundra due to restricted whale hunting season. It is a place I have never heard of and I am not even sure it exists. I Google it and it does get any hits/results. I must assume this is a scam. Nuninuvik... in some polar region so far north it is higher in latitude than the North Pole and Santa Claus. You could probably see elves in your front yard.

Then we have the requests for money to benefit some Mission or charity in France...and its in French. "Yeah. I'd love to give you money but I don't know for sure where to send it or who it's really going to because I CAN'T READ FRENCH! or Russian or Chinese or Korean." So please, if you send me email solicitations, at least put them in English, Spanish or Greek. At least I'll have a better chance of understanding who is taking my donations other than some unidentifiable person in France, Russia, China or Korea.