Peculiar Patents V: Lotion and Bath Handler

Lotion and Bath Handler-US Patent #6550996

As a break from the usual theological fare I present the Lotion and Bath Handler. This one has got physical assault written all over it. I could see this being used to smack someone upside the head with or without lotion applied to the "hand" surface. The abstract of the part says that it will telescope. Apparently, the telescoping ability is for people with really long backs (or for reaching people farther away when you wish to smack them in the head). The item designated as #27 is actually a hard plastic cover that may or may not be taken off when used for striking other people. This might also be handy for applying lotion to creams to people that stink as it allows for people to remain distant when using it.

I genuinely wonder how often this device will actually be used for its intended purpose? Perhaps to smack someone on the back? Come to think of it this might actually double as a car washing/waxing mitt that will be useful for those hard to reach places such as the roof of a car or truck. If it has telescoping ability in the 3 to 4 foot range it can also be used to clean ceilings or remove cobwebs or spiderwebs from the ceiling corners in your house. 

I have included a second version of it below from another inventor that looks even more humorous than the first. It seems more amusing because the "hand" looks like it is attached to two capacitors or batteries capable of inflicting a substantial electric shock (which would take this in a whole new direction I'd rather not elaborate on).