I generally was a loner most of my life. The call of God has
changed that sometimes as some people call on me to perform my duty as a doulos
δοῦλος (servant) or poimēn ποιμήν (shepherd, pastor). I marry people and speak
over the dead. I'm comfortable there. In the spaces between sound or inside the
wavelength itself….tuned to a specific divine frequency. I've known this my
whole life. I've always been at peace with being seen as the rebel. All rebel
means is that I refuse to follow societal norms. I shun most of them because I
refuse to let the horde define me.
As I've aged solitude is becoming more frequent and at first
I thought is was an issue of irrelevance or being anti-social. Yet I found this
not to be true because I'm virtually always out doing physical things around
other people. When I do encounter people it is in profound overreaching ways
that it is clear God is orchestrating it. I don't hate people, I just value my
isolation more sometimes. As I read the Bible last night I came across Luke 5,
and the Spirit struck me as verse 16 hit hard.
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and
prayed."
God does his deepest work on me when no one is around. God quiets the noise in my life so I can hear Him more clearly or only Him. Although Jesus preached to thousands, He spent most of his time with twelve. I no longer rush to fill silence, I try more to hear God in the silence. The older we get the more God brings us into alignment with eternal things. When God separates me from people it is not merely a subtraction, it is a refining and stripping of unneeded things. Don't get me wrong I communicate through writing constantly because I believe God wants me to put ideas into the aether but it is also to get what’s in my head out to create more room. God does not waste our later years, he is more purposefully utilizing us.
