I too believe or at least try to have a heart for God. I put Him first in all my decisions or at least I try to 99% of the time. I realize that 1% is what bites me in the rear end when I least expect it but I am still of this world and it still has residual affects on my life that I am nearly powerless against if I haven’t called on the Lord. I guess a door opened 1% is all Satan needs to get his claw in the door.
As for the negative, it should be self-evident from the previous paragraph. I often have a failure to rely on God in seriously tough situations or in dilemmas that appear insurmountable. It is the most difficult trying times when I should cling to God the tightest or search Him out the most that I go rogue. Unfortunately, it is these times when I drift off relying and depending on my own faulty reasoning, flawed logic and limited intelligence (as opposed to omniscience). In search for my own reasoning and intelligence, I forfeit my allegiance to the Almighty. It is quite sad and depressing. As a Christian I know better but it is as if have a split personality in these situations. One side of me wants to access the situation and act/react and there is another that commits to God and I stand down as the military says turning the problem over to Him. Ironically, if I obeyed like a soldier I would always stand down and commit to the Divine Commanding Officer…but I don’t. Foolish me.
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