There is sort of a paradox when referring to my positive Davidic attribute. My positive quality that is similar to David’s actually starts with a negative attribute and/or behavior. I sin like David but what made David a man after God’s own heart was his repentant heart. When you boil down the essence of what generally made David a successful King in Israel (a theocracy) it was that he inevitably came back to God and submitted humbly to Him even after his worst faux pas. That is the key to reigning/living in successful theocracy, allowing God to work through you to correctly rule the land and people. David intuitively knew this and only failed when he drifted away from God’s presence at certain times of his life. You see the pattern in his life. When he made decisions by either consulting others or relying on his own judgment without consulting the Lord he eventually paid the price by suffering…by being a renegade from Saul for nearly a decade, acting like a loon with Achish, king of Gath. Bathsheba, etc.
I too believe or at least try to have a heart for God. I put Him first in all my decisions or at least I try to 99% of the time. I realize that 1% is what bites me in the rear end when I least expect it but I am still of this world and it still has residual affects on my life that I am nearly powerless against if I haven’t called on the Lord. I guess a door opened 1% is all Satan needs to get his claw in the door.
As for the negative, it should be self-evident from the previous paragraph. I often have a failure to rely on God in seriously tough situations or in dilemmas that appear insurmountable. It is the most difficult trying times when I should cling to God the tightest or search Him out the most that I go rogue. Unfortunately, it is these times when I drift off relying and depending on my own faulty reasoning, flawed logic and limited intelligence (as opposed to omniscience). In search for my own reasoning and intelligence, I forfeit my allegiance to the Almighty. It is quite sad and depressing. As a Christian I know better but it is as if have a split personality in these situations. One side of me wants to access the situation and act/react and there is another that commits to God and I stand down as the military says turning the problem over to Him. Ironically, if I obeyed like a soldier I would always stand down and commit to the Divine Commanding Officer…but I don’t. Foolish me.
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