September 18, 2013

Peculiar Patents III: The Microwave Oven w/Removable Storage Cassette in Dashboard of Motor Vehicle

The Microwave Oven with Removable Storage Cassette in Dashboard of Motor Vehicle
(Patent no. 6,060,700)
Ah yes, the always popular oven in the dashboard invention thingy. Actually, has this ever been a popular (or good) idea? Yeah, didn't think so. This mouthful of a title is bestowed upon a doozy of a patent. This thing has at least second-degree burns written all over it. At least you'll be able to roll the window down to cool things off. What better time to make your breakfast than on your way to work while making sharp rights, sharp lefts and jamming on your brakes at a red light? You get the best of both worlds: To combine your breakfast with your commute to work. There is nothing more appealing than nuking a coffee right in-dash. A nuked coffee that is so blazing hot that you or your passenger whom you are commuting with will need to speed to the trauma unit at the hospital when it ends up on your lap. You will be then be permanently disfigured a second time by molten pastries fresh out of the microwave due to over-acceleration to either get to the hospital because of the coffee burn or to be the first to merge to a single lane from a double lane while putting out the flames. 

Then while peeling the skin away from the burn areas you will be able to eat you microwaved oatmeal that was still in the oven during the first two mishaps. The inventor might want to work on a more simplified name too. The last thing in a vehicle called a cassette seems to have gone out of production in 1994 because it ate tapes and routinely overheated on hot days.


I wonder if it will be any good for preserving the skin grafts that will be necessary from the burn unit? 

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