April 2, 2010

Wingnut: Postscript

[ Obviously no post like this can be written without a tongue being planted firmly in the cheek and a head nod to C.S. Lewis. So that rattling you hear is my brain bouncing around on the inside of my skull as I vigorously nod my head to Lewis...]

Dear Rivothead,

We have been falling behind on twisting and contorting the Most High God's perfect designs. We need to ramp-up our nefarious shenanigans and start prodding and misleading with more focused effort. Give then more distractions so they don't pay attention to God's Word. Fill their schedule so that they have no downtime to hear "the still small voice". Bombard them with secular music and secular television so they won't spend the time reading the Bible and getting to know God...to know Jesus. Give them more electronic gadgets to tinker with when they could be helping those disenfranchised. Texting when they could be praying. Yapping on phones having pointless conversations when they could be talking with God on a better and more clear line about something that will change their lives today.

Allow them all the pleasures that they can fulfill on a regular basis to keep the Holy Spirit at a distance even though they may have accepted Him. Flood their visual cortex with images of beautiful woman or men on television, magazines, books, web sites and billboards so that their husband or wives look like just another possession. Devalue their perception of the caring relationship in their marriage so they will hopefully throw it away, assure them the grass is greener on the other side. Convince people that having children outside of wedlock is normal and easy on the single parent so marriages seem somehow less appealing. Convince people that if relationships don't work you can just throw them away because they're not that important anyway. Tell them that the little blue pill will help their marriage because it will improve their sex life because everyone knows that the glue that holds any good relationship together solely sensuality.

Make them believe that their work lives are more important than their family life. Make them believe that without work all else fails. Assure them that spending beyond their means is okay because everyone else is doing it. If they get in above their heads and can't pay off their debt but that's okay too because there are plenty of others paying into the world system that can bail you out. Work ,work, work, spend, spend, spend, debt, debt, debt. Tell them a flat screen in the basement and the living room are not enough. Tell them full suspension mountain bikes for riding on paved roads aren't enough. The cars in the garage are not new enough either. They need more bling. Get them to buy diving watches insured to 500ft...that they will never even get wet. Meanwhile there are homeless people living in their own town that haven't had a warm meal in weeks.

Tell them that forsaking responsibility is okay. Nowadays no one really has to grow up and take responsibility for their actions because even if they're wrong there are activist courts that will let them off the hook because they were a victim of being ignored by their father who worked 16 hours a day. Tell them there aren't enough hours in the day or enough days in the week. Speed things up so that no matter how fast they go it isn't fast enough.

Redefine or deconstruct definitions so that words no long have real meaning. Use words in an inappropriate manner so that when they are used in a proper manner no one will know the difference. Tell people that history is all subject to observational filtering so in reality nothing about the past can be known for sure because it has an observational bias. Call light dark and dark light. Evil good and good evil. Let people believe that all religions are really different paths to the same God and that everyone gets to go to heaven as long as they lived a "good" life.

Tell them to try and fit church into their schedule because, as we all know, appearances are important. How you feel isn't as important as how people feel about you. It's okay to blow off church on a Sunday for a football or baseball game down in the city. As long as you make it up later on...all will be fine. Make sure they understand that their religion is more important than the relationship.

Infernally yours,


And above all, convince them that they can do anything through their own willpower. That an individualistic spirit and human know-how will get them whatever they want in this life and the next. Through hardworks, their own merits and a can-do mentality they will earn a place in heaven.

1 comment:

ArtWerx said...

this is a great article, but i was wondering why you made the demon be named wingnut, since that was peter jackson's code name for his creative department when he was working on The Lord of The Rings. i have an envelope he sent me with the logo pic that went with it: a fairy riding a butterfly, so maybe peter DOES have some little monsters to get rid of, but i really think those movies did good overall. lol, the security word they want me to type in is "rewigrat"...maybe you can rename it that...

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